Father

Today I would like to write about my father. This topic has been on my mind for some days. Perhaps, it is the prospect of returning home in less than two weeks or the fact that I arrive on my dad's birthday. Regardless, it has been on my mind.

I have been through different stages and feelings of homesickness all summer, as I have been abroad in different countries for various amounts of time. I found that it wasn't too long before I started missing my sisters, then my mum and finally my dad. It wasn't that I didn't miss him, it was that emotional kind of sadness only kicked in about 10 days ago. 

Fathers, are such important parts of our lives and often we don't even realise just how important they are. I have only realised how much of my own person, attitude to life and general personality I get from my dad.

Often, I find myself, particularly as I have got older disagreeing and debating with my dad.Yet, there is just so much of what he says is right, correct and makes sense. 

I have just deleted the last paragraph I wrote as I feel like I am repeating myself. Perhaps, its time for me to delve deeper into the true purpose behind this post as opposed to the the basic generic comments I am making about how I am like my dad.

So perhaps I should start by saying what are the particulars I miss of my dad. I miss a lot. I miss my dad's ability of being able to tell what's on my mind within moments of seeing me. I miss my dad putting his arms around me and hugging me and not just any ordinary hug, one that lasts for minutes and I can't help but forget whatever it is that was upsetting me . I miss my dad talking through things in a rational, logical and in some ways a pretty blunt manner. I miss my dad telling me I look nice because he can tell the days I have made an effort to dress up for an occasion. At the same time I miss always making sure I am always on top of things because I do not want my dad to ask me why I am behind on something. I miss my dad asking everyone on the table every dinner how their day was. I miss my dad.

Usually when I go on a family holiday, there will always be on thing which I will be questioning why my dad is so insistent that we do this. I will usually be pretty grumpy on those days. Yet coming out on my own, I find myself wanting to do all the things he would. Having the same philosophy of making as many memories as you can even though not all will be pleasant. I find myself looking for a place of worship, any place, when things get tough, another thing that my dad has always done. 

This trip has really taught me to appreciate and be grateful of the relationship I have with my father. I have realised that I take the time I spend with him, talk to him and the advice he gives me for granted. I miss him a lot today. If you are fortunate enough to be with your father today, I would say try and make the most out of it and if anything, just notice and realise how reliant and important fathers are in our life.   
I wanted to write so much more but its difficult when your laptop has become smothered in tears. I love my dad a lot and for the first time have really appreciated not only the father he is, but the person he is; from coming from one of the worst schools in the country to a detached house in a suburb. 

I hope when I have children, I am able to give them all the love, tolerance, patience and knowledge my father has given me.