Father

Today I would like to write about my father. This topic has been on my mind for some days. Perhaps, it is the prospect of returning home in less than two weeks or the fact that I arrive on my dad's birthday. Regardless, it has been on my mind.

I have been through different stages and feelings of homesickness all summer, as I have been abroad in different countries for various amounts of time. I found that it wasn't too long before I started missing my sisters, then my mum and finally my dad. It wasn't that I didn't miss him, it was that emotional kind of sadness only kicked in about 10 days ago. 

Fathers, are such important parts of our lives and often we don't even realise just how important they are. I have only realised how much of my own person, attitude to life and general personality I get from my dad.

Often, I find myself, particularly as I have got older disagreeing and debating with my dad.Yet, there is just so much of what he says is right, correct and makes sense. 

I have just deleted the last paragraph I wrote as I feel like I am repeating myself. Perhaps, its time for me to delve deeper into the true purpose behind this post as opposed to the the basic generic comments I am making about how I am like my dad.

So perhaps I should start by saying what are the particulars I miss of my dad. I miss a lot. I miss my dad's ability of being able to tell what's on my mind within moments of seeing me. I miss my dad putting his arms around me and hugging me and not just any ordinary hug, one that lasts for minutes and I can't help but forget whatever it is that was upsetting me . I miss my dad talking through things in a rational, logical and in some ways a pretty blunt manner. I miss my dad telling me I look nice because he can tell the days I have made an effort to dress up for an occasion. At the same time I miss always making sure I am always on top of things because I do not want my dad to ask me why I am behind on something. I miss my dad asking everyone on the table every dinner how their day was. I miss my dad.

Usually when I go on a family holiday, there will always be on thing which I will be questioning why my dad is so insistent that we do this. I will usually be pretty grumpy on those days. Yet coming out on my own, I find myself wanting to do all the things he would. Having the same philosophy of making as many memories as you can even though not all will be pleasant. I find myself looking for a place of worship, any place, when things get tough, another thing that my dad has always done. 

This trip has really taught me to appreciate and be grateful of the relationship I have with my father. I have realised that I take the time I spend with him, talk to him and the advice he gives me for granted. I miss him a lot today. If you are fortunate enough to be with your father today, I would say try and make the most out of it and if anything, just notice and realise how reliant and important fathers are in our life.   
I wanted to write so much more but its difficult when your laptop has become smothered in tears. I love my dad a lot and for the first time have really appreciated not only the father he is, but the person he is; from coming from one of the worst schools in the country to a detached house in a suburb. 

I hope when I have children, I am able to give them all the love, tolerance, patience and knowledge my father has given me.

Fruits A-Z

In Singapore, the place where I worked was the the first office where I have seen where fruit days are taken so seriously. This made me think about the lack of fruit I myself eat. So today I have put together an A-Z guide on fruit, naming a different fruit with each letter and its benefits to learn a bit more about why eating fruit is important.

Apple

An apple is a round fruit of a tree of the rose family, which typically has a thin green or red skin and a crispy flesh.

There are many benefits of eating an apple including; it is an overall tonic, a good fibre for the digestive system and is known to reduce the risk of Alzheimers. Apples are also recommended for weight loss as they contain less than 100 calories and their digestive aid helps your stomach in holding on to less saturated fat.

Banana

A banana is a long curved fruit which grows in clusters and has a soft pulpy flesh and yellow skin when ripe.

Bananas have high vitamin and mineral content especially potassium. They are especially good for fat burning and providing energy for a long period of time. There is also evidence to suggest they reduce chances of kidney cancer.

Cherry

Cherries are small, soft round stone fruit that are typically bright or dark red.

Cherries have a unique combination of detoxifying, laxative and inflammation reducing qualities.  They also have a surprising large amount of vitamin A which is good for maintenance of heart, lung and kidneys.

Durian

Durians are spiny oval tropical fruit that contain a creamy pulp. Despite its fetid smell it is highly valued for its flavour.

Durians like bananas are rich in their vitamin and mineral levels containing high amounts of potassium, sulphur and vitamin C. However, because of their warming properties, too much in hot countries can cause excessive sweating.

Elderberry

Elderberries are the bluish-black or the red berry of the elder tree or shrub, used mainly for making jelly or wine.

Despite being used mainly for creating secondary food products, elderberries are extremely beneficial to health. They can help improve vision, lower cholesterol levels and its high vitamin C levels mean that it was given to treat a flu epidemic in Panama in 1995.

Fig

Figs are soft pear-shaped fruit with a sweet dark flesh and many small seeds, eaten fresh or dried.

Figs are extremely mineral and vitamin rich containing B1, B5, B6, iron and calcium. Dried figs are extremely popular and they still have all the mineral properties that raw figs have.

Grape

Grapes are berries, typically green, purple or black, which are grown in clusters on a grapevine. They are eaten as fruit as well as used in making wine.

Research shows that grapes are a profound heart and blood vitalising food, contain anti-cancer nutrients and help with anemia.

Honeydew Melon

Honeydew melon is a variety of melon with smooth pale skin and a sweet green flesh. It is considered the sweetest of all melons. t

Honeydew melon is a perfect source of your daily vitamins and minerals being high in vitamin C, potassium and vitamin B-6.  Vitamin B-6 is in fact a metabolism booster and aids brain development and so this fruit is often advised to those on weight management diets.

Iyokan

Iyokan is a small orange Japanese citrus fruit. Given its slightly sour taste, it is the second most produced fruit in Japan.

Iyoka has extremely high levels of vitamin C making it very good for the immune system.

Jujube

Jujube sometimes referred to as the “Chinese date” is an edible berry-like fruit of a Eurasian plant, formally taken as a cough cure.

The high levels of vitamin C, zinc and magnesium is what made its most popular use being cough medicine.

Kiwi

Kiwi is a fruit with a thin hairy skin, green flesh and back seeds. It is formerly called a Chinese gooseberry.

Kiwis contain unique enzymes that help in correcting and smoothing the digestive system. They are also said to eliminate wrinkles and remove excess sodium.

Lychee

Lychees are small rounded fruit with a sweet white scented flesh, a large central stone and a thin rough skin. They taste similar to grapes but typically are much more fragrant.

They contain large amounts of copper, vitamin C and phosphorus. It also helps protect the skin from UV rays.

Mango

Mangoes are fleshy, oval, yellowish-red tropical fruit which is eaten ripe or used green for pickles, salads or chutneys.

Mangoes are excellent aids to kidneys; they help cleanse blood and lower cholesterol levels.

Nectarine

Nectarines are a variety of peaches with a smooth red and yellow skin which have a rich, firm flesh.

Nectarines are also a digestive aids; they help to cleanse the body and contain vitamin E and copper.

Orange

Oranges are large round juicy citrus fruit with a tough bright reddish-yellow rind.

Most famously, they are known for their immune system benefits. They can also reduce tumors, inflammation and prevent blood clots from developing.

Pineapple

Pineapples are juicy tropical fruit consisting of aromatic edible yellow flesh surrounded by a tough segmented skin and topped with a tuft of stiff leaves.

Pineapples promote joint health, can help with cleansing mucus specifically and help promote folic acid levels.

Quince

Quinces are a hard, acid pear-shaped fruit used in preserves or as flavourings.

Quince have anti-allergic and anti- inflammatory properties. They have also been known to treat cystitis.

Rambutan

Rambutans are red plum-sized tropical fruit with soft spines and a slightly acidic taste.

In traditional medicine, they are used to cure diabetes and hypertension. They are high in protein not just vitamins and minerals such as vitamin C, phosphorus and copper. 

Star fruit

Star fruit, more formally called carambola, is a golden-yellow juicy fruit with a star shaped-shaped cross section.

Star fruit is rich in antioxidants, potassium and vitamin C. In Brazilian folk medicine, it has been known to suppress coughs and increase urine output.

Tangerine

Tangerines are small citrus fruits with loose skin, especially a skin which has a deep orange-red colour.

Similar to oranges; they are great for vitamin C boosts, calcium and copper. Their fibre is also good for reduction in risk of arthritis.

Ugli

Ugli is a mottled green and yellow citrus fruit which is a cross between a grapefruit and a tangerina.

Ugli fruit contains 0g of fat and half your required portion of fiber; therefore is featured in many weight management diets. 

Voavanga

Voavanga also known as a Spanish tamarind, it is a round fruit that is green with white dots that turns brown when fully ripe. The pulp is moderately juicy, with a slightly acidic flavor. It has been described taste wise as a combination of a Satsuma and a grapefruit. They are very rare and although featured in the Spanish cuisine, they are actually from Mexico.

There is no specific breakdown of the vitamins and minerals they contain; but they are known to add to your overall vitamin and mineral levels.

Watermelon

Watermelon is a large melon-like fruit of a plant of the gourd family, with smooth green skin, red pulp and watery juice.

Watermelon interestingly helps to prevent against sunburn and is said to reduce the risk of prostate and ovarian cancer. Being a summer fruit it also is great at rehydrating and cleansing the body.

Xigua

Xigua is a fruit very similar to watermelon only shorter in size.

It has all the same benefits as watermelon only difference is it is shorter and can be found in a cube shape.

Yuzu

Yuzu look similar to grapefruits only smaller in size, and are yellow or green depending on ripeness. It is found predominantly in East Asia.

Yuzu can help replenish dead skin cells, slow down physical signs of aging and boost vitamin C levels. It is often used in beauty products too because of its anti-aging properties.

Zalacca

Zalacca have a reddish-brown scaly skin covering a white pulp which has a slightly acidic taste. These fruits are native to Indonesia.

The fruits are recommended for those suffering with diarrhea as they are full of fiber and of course vitamin C. 

Guilt

When I am upset, I hate being around people. All I want to do is to be left alone to weep. When I am happy, I want to share this feeling with others and yet this is the time you barely find someone so pure who feels absolutely happy for you. 

I have found it hard to deal with guilt here in Cambodia. Often, we say we are feeling guilty if we forgot to go to the gym for a month or purchased another pair of shoes in a different color in the same week. But to be fair this is all nonsense, because if we were truly guilty we would do something about it.

This is the first time in my life I have felt what I would call true guilt. And you know its true guilt when you don't want to talk to anyone about and stop making eye contact with people when they are trying to talk to you especially if one is close.

The first thing I find myself being extremely guilty about the life I seem to have attained in Cambodia. Cambodia is a two tier society. The rich drive range rovers, eat at costa and indulge at daily spas. The poor walk, eat street food (if any) and spend most of the time trying to make money for their kids. Some may say well this isn't too different to the situation I had to deal with in Ghana. However. I would argue its very difference. The difference being I am not interacting with the low tier of Cambodian society or in any way helping it. I work in a fairly medium size ngos, putting together fundraising strategies in respect to funds such as the UN Women fund. I sit in a a private office of only me and my friend in an AC-ed office, we have our own private bathrooms and a kitchen. We eat lunch at fancy cafes. We use tuk-tuks everywhere and fly when going out of Phnom Penh. We go out every evening after work whether to the shopping mall or a health club. We live the lives of kings. We live in a guesthouse with warm water, mattress on beds and wifi downstairs. We get more than most of these people. I feel physically sick writing this. The idea behind volunteering was supposed to be to immerse yourself in the poor society and make a difference; share stories, skills and most importantly friendships. I don't I have spoken to a single "street person" in my two and half weeks.\

The second guilt I hold is an extension of the first point. People work years to do a trip like the one I am doing. I didn't have to work; just ask my parents. 'This added to the fact that I feel like I am making no difference at all to Phnom Penh; I feel extremely guilty. I mean why should I be granted this privileged. What gives me the right to use someone else's hard worked money especially when I am educated and of a working age. I have never ever said this before or spoken to any one about this but it upsets me. It's different when I have a student loan because ultimately I myself pay for that. I really have an issue with accepting gifts and anything to do with money. But I have been thinking that I am not entirely wrong; it is unfair. This also adds to why I feel so bad that the Cambodia trip hasn''t yielded in me making a difference to lives of the poor around me.

Someone once said to me that your family is your biggest strength but that also makes it your biggest weakness. It is a statement that resonated with me. I hate the idea of being fearful, fearful of anything. I mean why should I? I believe in God, Karma and that you only get what you can handle in life so why be scared? This is perhaps what lead to me to make sure that I wasn't so attached to my family so that say something happened I knew I could cope. I sometimes don't see my family days in a row in normal daily basis. I managed two weeks many years ago on my own, then three weeks last year and now I am on a trip of 8-9weeks away from them. And you know what; yes my family is my biggest strength. Yes, I can't deal with life without them. Being away does help make stronger in some ways; I am responsible for everything and am forced to deal with individuals who do not have the same genes or thinking as me. But the truth of the matter is quite simply; going away from home doesn't make you need them less. You will always need them. And this unlucky scenario of should something happen, actually happen, is a bridge for me to cross when it happens, not now. Going away for a year wouldn't change this. Having realized this brings me to the final guilt that has been eating me that so much so that I was going to get the next flight home today. My sister is very unwell. It is my duty to be there by her side and take care of her and I cannot because I am on a stupid trip where neither am I helping the locals or becoming less dependent on my family. I know I should be home and if she is not better by friday, I have decided that I will leave regardless. 

I feel so much lighter writing this; writing is so cathartic. I have stopped weeping for starters. Ultimately, I have learnt what guilt actually feels like and it has taught me a lot about the nonsense drama we bring in our daily lives when we claim to feel guilty for forgetting to text back or eating that chocolate fudge cake. 

Being A World Class Employee

Hi folks!

It wasn’t long ago that I was in the wonderful Singapore. Whilst there, someone said to me that they treat their place of work as if it were their customer. At the time, I found this to be merely poetic and wrote this down on a paper. It is beautiful quote, and I didn’t spend much time dwelling on it. 

However, seeing that quote, by chance many weeks later has got me thinking. I believe this is the reason why some employees progress and some do not. Those who do not treat the workplace as their customer are those who don’t do so well professionally-speaking. 

Let me explain. 

We live in a world which very different to how it looked say 50 years ago. No longer are there “jobs for life”, one is expected to be moving between organizations and jobs. The nature of jobs themselves are different, they are now much more narrow, defined and specific in what they require of an employee. The idea of continually getting more and more richer as you get older is permanently stained in our societies. Then there is also the environment of workplace, one is expected to know only a handful of individuals in t he office as opposed to all the staff really well, especially in large organizations. 

So in essence our job should not define us for all those reasons mentioned above. It is temporary state. These facts added together puts some in despair. They feel then why should one go beyond the tasks at hand at work?  Whats the point, within some years I will have enough experience to move onto better job or for those particularly pessimistic, I will be leaving at some point why bother? This attitude is what creates the unsuccessful worker.

The successful employee then is one who sees themselves as the brand not the organization they work for as their brand. Every individuals name denotes unique idiosyncrasies, some more general personality traits and a skill set. These put together are a functioning business. You are a functioning business.

Your workplace is a customer, some of which will be temporarily and others more long-standing. The employer and employee join together in contract. You provide a service, of say offering the company’s clients legal advice and in return you get some monetary return. Similar to how a law firm works, they sell legal advice and in return they are paid a monetary fee. If you are a lawyer do not think of yourself as a Clifford Chance associate but rather a law firm itself which goes by the name of your own name. 

This way of thinking though, still does not explain why one should excel at their job and make active efforts to always go beyond what is required. Well its simple. Think of a business like Clifford Chance or Prada.  Their customer service is know to be incredible. It is for this reason that people pay more quite happily. We as brands should always be thinking of our own customer service. But what does this mean? It means ensuring wherever possible, additional work could be done. If you are a lawyer, this may involved checking on clients, finding more clients and maybe perhaps giving a few minutes here and there free of charge to your clients. Maintaining high customer service is expensive both in business and in person but worth it. It is more likely that your own customer i.e. the employer would want to maintain a long-standing relationship with you as well as more customers will be attracted.

As in business, there is of-course another model, simply put in the Apprentice as “stack them up high, sell them cheap”. The model of quantity which doesn’t involve much customer service. If we apply such a model on ourselves, it becomes a self-depreciating cycle. This is because time is finite. There is maximum numbers hours per day one can work and so the idea of doing short cheap jobs becomes uneconomical as they cost of time in setting up for the next job and opening and closing the job does not cover the return payment. Those who take this attitude also fail. Think of your employer as a customer, and customers want to be served otherwise they would not enter into a contract with you.

Successful organizations are those that are continually are investing in their business. Investing involves a few different stages. The first being assessment. As individuals then, setting aside time to examine our CVs and work is crucial. The next step to investment is analysis. Once we have examined out work and CVs it is crucial to analyze it, merely seeing what is going on is not enough when making investment choice. Remember for business money is finite and for individuals time (and money usually) is. This analysis should involve looking at the competition and the general market. So for a lawyer assessing your work against how your peer is doing can be eye-opening and looking at the general demand for lawyers in the market, what is demanded. Perhaps compare to job criteria for similar jobs. The next stop is examining the investment options. For individuals, it is looking at the different options they may have whether its a new language class or a position on the board of a NFPO. The final step is making the investment. This is crucial to being a successful employee. 

So this sums up my case for why those who view themselves as businesses and workplaces as customers do well in their professional lives!

Arrival in Cambodia

I have now been in Cambodia for 9days and already feel like local as Phnom Penh is less than half the size of London. Before writing about the range of experiences I have had, I thought I'd start by sharing with you the day I arrived, as that was a crucial day and is where first impressions of an area are made.

As you will know from my other post, I have incredibly apprehensive about this trip just because of the sheer length and distance it is from London. The only saving grace was the fact that I was doing with my friend.

We arrived from Singapore around about noon via the Ryanair of Asia; "Jet Star Asia". Which was in some ways better than Ryanair as there was no clapping on landing or scratch-card announcement every two minutes. 

In the Phnom Penh airport itself there are ATM and simcard facilities so we managed to sort out our basic jobs in airport itself. Surprisingly, they were able to provide Sim cards for iphone 5 and there was a Burger King!! 

This was the first shock as we were not expecting such development, especially if you read some of the economic journals about Cambodia. 

We dived straight into the Cambodian lifestyle once we arrived, by taking a tuk-tuk to our guesthouse. I guess I didn't find this too scary as from a young age I have been in Rickshaws and autorickshaws in India where they also drive on the wrong side of the road. What worried me though, was that my big 62litre suitcase was placed on the small space adjoining the motorcycle and carriage. It didn't help that the roads between the airport and guesthouse, at least for the first part, were quite fast. I was sure that any minute the suitcase was going to go flying off the road, but thankfully I was wrong!

Once checked in, we went searching for Sorya Mall which online and in the guidebooks is said to  be a 7 floor shopping complex containing a cinema, supermarkets, stores etc. However, we were taken to this deserted food market which was apparently Sorya Mall. We are still looking for this mall and if we find it we will let you know. 

We concluded the day by dining at a restaurant called La Table Khmer, a French bistro place serving oriental food. The food was expensive by Cambodian standards, but we didn't really know where we were and so decided to settle there. I was disappointed that the springrolls I ordered were not fried but were fresh and and the fried water spinach was extremely wet. However, nine days in I can say food elsewhere has much better tastes.

My initial reaction to Phnom Penh?

Well, I was extremely surprised to see how developed it is was. As mentioned before, I was shocked that they had iphone 5 sims, burger king, supermarkets and actually fairly decent roads for a developing country. It is nothing like Ghana. 

I found it weird that the currency here is US dollars and Riel. How it works is that everything is in dollars and instead of cents, as they do not have coins here, riels are given. $1 = 4000R, so anything less than a dollar is given in Riels. Although, now I feel like this system makes more sense as coins are such a pain to carry around and count. 

The weather isn't too bad. Yes it is hot especially when you come from London but its fine. The only time I have problems with the weather is when we are walking around for long periods of time and I haven't eaten enough, I feel extremely tired and dizzy on these occasions. Another difference to Ghana is here, is most indoor places are all AC-ed and fanned and so you barely feel the heat on some days. 

Arrival was interesting day. Another of my worries was discharged on this day as I realised wi-fi is a norm here and almost everywhere, so communicating back home and sharing photos etc is all fairly easily.

All in all, I was extremely happy on arrival day because I had expected something on the lines of Ghana and it turned out to be more on the lines of India which is a lot more developed. I hope to keep you all posted :)